When we think about values it’s usually in terms of something noble and positive to aspire to. However, we all have negative values that also impact our lives, productivity and happiness.

Our values are made up of the things that matter to us, the things we stand for, the way we lead our lives; they identify us at your core and define our character. Our values are visible in our daily lives and constantly reflect who we are.

So why is it that so many of us haven’t given them much thought? The main reason is we rarely choose our values consciously and just stick with the ones we grew up with. We might also find it easier to ignore the negative values we hold, instead choosing to ascribe to ourselves purely fictional, saintly ones.

It’s important to be honest (with ourselves at least) about the values we hold and live our lives by, both positive and negative. That way we can actually do something about them. We may have values we want to live by – these are aspirational values. However, our deep drivers are our core values – the ones we already have.

Knowing and understanding our core values can help us make better decisions – ones that we can stand by no matter what happens. Likewise, identifying our negative values can help us realise how bad decisions were perhaps driven by these. At Parity.Planner HQ we suggest the following steps. Of course, this requires honest self-reflection to be useful:

  • Think about your actions, interactions and decisions with regard to your friends, family, health, career etc.

  • List three values or behaviours you think were reflected in what you did.

  • If you are happy with what is being reflected, you can reinforce it.

  • If not, think about a value or behaviour you would like to replace it with.

  • Then, think about how. Try to identify concrete steps to take, things you could do more of or behaviours to avoid. It’s one thing finding things to change or reinforce, it’s another thing having an actual plan of how to do it.

Hope this helps. Feel free to reach out and let us know if this has worked for you or if you have your own tried and tested techniques. We’re keen to hear from you.

Unleashing your Core Values